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Feb 22, 2026
Building Character - The Foundation of Your Calling
Building Character - The Foundation of Your Calling
00:00
49:39
Transcript
0:00
Hi, everyone. I am Fernie, one of the hosts of the Walking the Narrow Path podcast. We are so grateful to have you as part of our community. If you're finding value in these conversations, I have a small favor to ask.
0:13
Please hit the follow or subscribe button in your podcast app right now. It's the best way to support the show and make sure you never miss an episode.
0:24
For more resources and show notes, you can also visit us at our website at walkingthenarrowpath.org. Now, let's get back to the show.
0:34
[upbeat music] Hello, hello, hello, and welcome to Walking the Narrow Path with Fernie and Efrain.
1:00
This is our second episode, so we'll see where it goes.
1:04
On the last episode, we left off with the topic of callings, and so we wanna kind of tackle that, 'cause I know that for me, callings was a little bit difficult when I started, you know, really looking into it.
1:17
And I'll tell you that I started really looking into it when I started doing my career change. 'Cause I was like, "Okay, what does, what does God got for me, and what's my purpose?"
1:26
And I knew I had more to give, I just didn't know which direction to go in, and so I leaned into God. But in trying to understand it, it got more complex [laughs]. Yeah, yeah.
1:36
To be honest with you, Fernie, I think that the calling is something that so many people struggle with.
1:41
And I think that one of the reasons why we struggle with it so much is because there's a, a misconception that a lot of people, even within the church, have about the calling, right? Mm-hmm.
1:52
One thing that I've discovered in my, in my experience is that when talking about calling, a lot of people, like I said, even within the church, they feel like somehow your calling has to do with full-time ministry. Mm.
2:07
Or maybe not even full-time ministry, but just ministry in general, you know?
2:11
Where you need to be volunteering at the church, or you need to be serving at some capacity within, within the church, your local church, that is. Mm-hmm.
2:21
And by doing so, then you're fulfilling your calling or for a calling. But one of the things that I would like to clarify during the course of this podcast is that that's not always the case. Yeah.
2:34
I mean, that obviously entails a big part of it- Mm-hmm... but that's not always the case. Yeah.
2:39
When I was getting ready for this podcast and I was ma- wanna make sure that my thoughts were clear, I came across where it said that there's different callings, and, uh, what three that kind of stood out for me.
2:48
And o- obviously there's more. Um, I'm sure we could go forever with this topic. But it's three questions: who you are, what you do, and then how you do it.
2:57
And like you said, I think everybody sees it as, "Oh, I have to be a pastor," or, "I have to be a church leader." And the more and more that I got into it as I was doing my career change, it's way more than that.
3:09
I mean, your calling is everything from me being a father, a, a son, a, a husband, a friend, a teacher. You know, we overlook those callings and those gifts that God has given us.
3:23
And so one of the, uh, things that I saw was Ephesians 4:1. It says, "As a prisoner for the Lord, then I urge you to live a life worthy of the calling you have received."
3:35
So the way I saw this is that it's refers to the calling to live with integrity, humility, and patience. There's certain character types that we've been called to do, and I don't think that we really lean onto that.
3:50
I think the first thing that when we talk about calling is it's about character, and it's more about that first, and, you know, who God sees you, and what He's called you to do, and what He's called all of us to do, you know?
4:04
Most people also see it as, oh, a career or a task, and then they think it's grandiose. And they go, "It's..." They think it's gonna be this big thing that's gonna fall from the sky and tell them, "You...
4:14
This is a direction that you need to go in." You know? It's not. I mean- Yeah... it's like what we were talking last time. Yeah.
4:21
Sometimes the way that the Holy Spirit guides you or, or the way that the Lord shows you is just through- Everyday practice... you know?
4:29
One thing that kind of blows my mind, and, and it's something that the pastor at, at church has actually mentioned o- on occasion, is when God called Abram, when we look at the Book of Genesis- Mm-hmm...
4:42
and he says, "Leave your, your father and your mother," and then he says, "and go to the land that I will show you." He didn't give him coordinates. He didn't give him specific directions.
4:53
He didn't give him, you know, some type of celestial GPS, right? [laughs] With, with a direction or, or pinpoint, right, where, where he's supposed to go. No, no, no.
5:02
It's like, "Start moving, start walking, and on your way, I'm gonna show you." Yeah, you have to trust it. Yeah. Right? Yeah. There's no, there's no rerouting if you miss your turn.
5:12
[laughs] Well, you know, and the thing is, that's where faith comes in as well, right? Exactly. We talked a little bit last time about faith and s- a- and that's where faith comes in.
5:19
But the point that I'm trying to make is that a lot of times we feel like we're gonna see some celestial sign that's gonna say, "Bam, this is it," and then we're gonna move or walk or, or, or start acting i- in, in that direction.
5:32
And, and I think that more times than not, what- Mm-hmm... God is wanting for us to do is just start doing something. "And in your doing something, I will start showing you. I will start speaking to you.
5:48
I will start guiding you. I will start opening some doors and closing others, and that will start kind of guiding you towards what your calling is."
5:59
A- and sometimes, I'm not gonna lie, sometimes it, it can take a whileDays, weeks, months, maybe even some years, you know? Yeah, no, I completely agree.
6:09
I mean, you have to have complete trust, and I think trust is something that we didn't tackle more in depth as well, but, you know, faith and trust are a big part of your calling.
6:18
You know, you have to trust God and what He has for you. But I think also that sometimes we don't know what we're called to do, and I think that's the scary part, right? What are we called to do?
6:30
Well- And then sometimes we're doing something that we're not called to do. Absolutely. A- and, and, and it's hard. Yeah. And it's hard.
6:38
So here's the thing, what you just mentioned, you actually read a passage right now in E- Ephesians chapter 4. We have to understand that we all share certain callings. Mm-hmm. Quote, unquote, "callings", so to speak.
6:52
For example, that passage, the calling that Paul is referring to when it says that we should walk worthy of our calling. Mm-hmm. What calling is he talking about? He's talking about the calling of salvation.
7:03
He's talking about the calling of being a child of God, and what he's saying is that our everyday life, our everyday conduct should be worthy of that calling, and that's obviously something that we all share.
7:17
Anybody who has been washed and redeemed by the blood of Jesus Christ- Mm-hmm... right, who, who has become what we normally refer to as a born again believer, that we all share that calling.
7:28
We have been called, right, to salvation. We have accepted that calling.
7:33
From the moment that we accept Christ into our hearts, that we are accepting that calling of salvation, and now, right, what we need to do is strive so that our life, and allow the Holy Spirit to make changes in our life so that now our lifestyle and our everyday conduct will reflect that.
7:52
Yeah, absolutely, and as I was researching it and, you know, going through scriptures, I know, like I said last time, I couldn't quote you...
7:59
I can tell you the stories, but I can't quote you, you know, script by script and letter for letter. I hope I get there one day, but even if I don't, I know the Holy Spirit's talking to me anyways, so.
8:09
But in 2 Timothy in chapter 1, verse 9, it says exactly what you were just talking about.
8:15
He says, "He has saved us and called us to a holy life, not because of anything that we have, but because of His own purpose and grace." So there's the holiness calling that you're talking about, right?
8:27
And we need to make sure that we can set that apart.
8:29
I think people just go straight to a job or an act, and they forget the simple acts of love, kindness, you know, living as, as the Lord lived, and I think if we remember that, it'd be the other callings. Yeah.
8:47
I mean, look, what, what you're saying is a prime example. You read Ephesians 4:1 a moment ago, and if you actually continue reading past verse one- Mm-hmm... and you read verse two- Yeah...
8:56
it says, "Always be humble and gentle. Be patient with each other, making allowance for each other's faults because of your love."
9:04
So part of that calling of salvation and, and being, you know, children of God is to be humble, to be gentle, to be patient with each other. Yeah. Mm-hmm. Right?
9:14
To show each other grace, 'cause that's what it's talking about- Mm-hmm... is showing each other grace. For sure. Those are characteristics that should follow us within that calling. Yeah.
9:23
And speaking of grace, it's telling us to give grace, right? But what don't we do most of the time? I know I was very, very bad at this. We don't give it ourselves the grace, and we forget about ourselves.
9:37
I think we expect and have demands of ourselves that God hasn't put on us.
9:44
You know, a lot of the, the troubles that I think we get to, like I said earlier, right, sometimes we're calling ourselves to do things that we weren't called to do because of who? Because of your own list?
9:55
Because of your own perception? 'Cause that's not God's perception from... You know, and it took me a long time- Or your own wants. Yeah, exactly. You know? Your own y- your own desires. Yep. Right? Mm-hmm.
10:07
And, and I think that's something that we really struggle with just as people, right? Yeah. It's like, do my desires and do my wants align with what God wants? Yep. I mean, and I think when we give ourselves grace, we...
10:22
we're easier to give other people grace, and I think that goes to the very next verse that where it says, you know, "Make every effort to keep the unity of the Spirit through the bond of peace," right?
10:36
You can't give peace if you don't have peace. You can't give what you don't have. Exactly. You know? It's- You can ask me for a million dollars, Isaac. [laughs] Guess what? I don't... I don't have it. Darn.
10:46
I can't give it to you 'cause I don't have it. There goes... There, there, there, there goes our, our built, our built-in studio, bro. [laughs] Yeah. There goes the built-in studio, for sure.
10:53
But, but see, here's the thing. You, you touch on something that's really, that's really important- Mm-hmm... because it works in both the practical sense, but also the spiritual sense.
11:03
You cannot give that which you don't possess. Yeah. Absolutely. As simple as that. Mm-hmm. So if you don't have peace, you can't give peace. If you don't have grace, you can't give grace.
11:17
If you don't have mercy, then you can't give mercy, right? Mm-hmm. But God still calls us to be those things and to give those things. Why? Because He's bestowed those things upon us. Yeah. So I do have grace.
11:32
Whether I recognize it or not- There's the key... I do have grace. Why? Because God has given me grace, and God has shown me grace. I do have mercy because God has shown me mercy and has bestowed mercy upon me. Mm-hmm.
11:45
Right? So the thing is, now can you recognize it?
11:50
And not only can you recognize it, but are you willing to allow God to change you, to make the necessary changes in your life, in my life, so that we can show-And give that grace to others. Yep.
12:08
I mean, but... And it's funny 'cause, you know, let's, let's talk culture a little bit, 'cause I was listening to some, you know, I, we're having, we're d- here doing a podcast, but I listen to podcasts too, you know?
12:18
And I think you're not gonna get the knowledge unless, and I can't give knowledge if I don't have knowledge, right? And, you know, what am I talking about?
12:27
But in listening to some podcasts, I, I, I wrote this down and it says, you know, "Cultural def- definitions of calling involve self-help," so you're helping yourself, you're, you're making your own will, "individualistic ambitions, delusions conveniently baked by a Christian thought."
12:47
Conveniently baked by a Christian thought or cliche. Break that down a little bit. Help me understand what that means a little bit more. Okay.
12:54
So, you know, we've always heard that, you know, sometimes, like you said, we can convince ourselves that this is our calling because this is what you wanna do, right?
13:04
So you're gonna find, and you're gonna go to people that are gonna validate that, and then you conveniently use, "Oh, well, God has called me to this." Has he actually called you to it?
13:15
It's really, is it what God wants you to do, or is it what you want to do? So that's what I mean by the cliche.
13:22
So, you know, we always have those common Christian cliches that, you know, God will not give you more than you can handle. Well, that's a bunch of baloney.
13:30
He'll give me a lot more than I can handle because that's the only way he can prepare me. Well, I think that some of those cliches come because it's written in scripture. Yep.
13:40
But unfortunately, many times it's been misinterpreted- Yep... or it's been misapplied. Correct. Right? It's been misapplied. Will God give you more than you can handle? Yeah.
13:51
But wait, scripture does say that He won't give me more than I can handle. Well, how are you looking at it? Mm-hmm.
13:58
Are you thinking about handling those things in your own human strength, or are you thinking about trusting and relying? Well, you took my- You talked-... words out of my mouth... you talked about trust earlier, right?
14:08
Yeah. We need to have that trust. We need to have that trust. We have been called, because we're talking about calling- Mm-hmm... we have been ta- we have been called to be children of God. Mm-hmm.
14:17
We have also been called to be disciples of Christ. And in order to be a disciple, if He is your teacher and He is your master, then you need to learn to trust Him. Mm-hmm. Right? Yeah. You need to learn to trust Him.
14:32
You need to learn that, you know what, doesn't matter what I'm going through in life, as long as I know that I am walking the path- Mm-hmm... He's got me. Yeah. I, I completely 100% agree, and that's- He's got me...
14:47
that's the, that's the key, right?
14:49
And, and, and the beautiful thing is, Freddy, the beautiful thing is that a lot of times, because He knows that we obviously make mistakes, and He knows that obviously we're going to fail- Mm-hmm...
14:59
right, that a lot of times, even though we're not walking the path, because of His love, His grace, His mercy, and His faithfulness towards us, He still has us. Yeah.
15:09
So it goes back to where we talked in the first episode. You know, you veer off the road, no one says you can't get back on it. I mean, as a matter of fact, He's probably sending the chains to pull you out of it.
15:18
You know, that's... And I, we forget that. I think the, that's the calling. When He throws out the chains, and you don't even recognize that those chains are there to help you out of the ditch, right?
15:30
And so I think that's, that's the scary part, 'cause nobody really understands that, that concept. We, again, we think of some grandiose mission that I have in my life.
15:40
No, it can be just as simple as you affecting your children's lives. And I think that's one of the most important callings that we actually have. Yeah [laughs], absolutely.
15:49
Obviously, if you're single, this may not apply to you, but in, in the future, then it could. In the future it could apply to you. Mm-hmm.
15:56
And I'm gonna be honest with you, I've heard this so many times, talking about Christian cliches that you've actually mentioned a moment ago, right? I've heard this so many times, "Your family's your first ministry.
16:05
Your family is your first ministry." And it's true, however, in the practical everyday practice of it- Mm-hmm...
16:13
I see, or I have seen, so very few, quote-unquote, "servants of God" who are doing full-time ministry to be able to actually find the appropriate balance in full-time ministry and family, right?
16:30
Because they're all gonna say, "Yeah, my family is my first ministry. My family is my first ministry," but yet their family a lot of times is neglected for the sake of the calling. Mm-hmm. Right?
16:43
That they have of the ministry, of the full-time, of being a pastor, of being a church leader, of being...
16:47
Where they give all of their time, all of their energy, all of their strength to the ministry, to the church, to the flock, to the people, and their family's neglected.
16:57
And the sad part is that when that happens, I have seen this firsthand, the children grow up and they want, even though they were raised in the church- Mm-hmm...
17:08
going to church sometimes three or four times a week- Yep... they grow up and they want nothing to do with God. Yep. They want nothing to do with the church.
17:19
And it's not because they were at church all week long, it's because the parents, or the father or the mother, neglected them for the, quote-unquote, "sake of the calling" or the sake of the ministry or...
17:33
So it's easy to say, "Yeah, my family is my first ministry," but to actually put it into practice.
17:39
And this reminds me of something that many, many years ago when I was still living in San Antonio, my youth pastor actually told me at that point in time.
17:48
He said, and I'm gonna paraphrase because I don't remember the exact words. Mm-hmm.
17:51
We're talking about something that he told me over 20 years ago, so it's hard for me to remember the exact words that he used, so I'm gonna paraphrase. But basically what he was saying was this.
18:00
He said, "If somebody is sick and they're asking for you to go pray for them, but I also have my wife that is sick at home-What should I do? And that's the tug of war.
18:12
Should I, should I take care of my wife and tell them, "I'm sorry, I can't do this. I'll do it later"? Or do I get everything, drop everything that I'm doing, and go and actually take care of them? Yeah.
18:23
It's, it's a tug of war, right? It's a tug of war. Of which responsibility comes first. Yes. Well- You know, do I become... Am I a father first? Am I a husband first? Am I a friend? Am I...
18:35
You know, and for you, you know, I know a lot of people probably ask you to do, you know, you know, pastor-type responsibilities. So which one do you prioritize?
18:45
See, here's the thing, and this is where it doesn't have to be so complicated. This is where we don't have to fast and, and, and pray for months at a time. And no, no, no.
18:58
Yes, the whole calling, the, the whole subject of the calling is very deep, and it can be very complex, but it can be very simple at the same time because when we actually wor- read the word of God and we have a proper understanding of the word of God, the word of God is going to guide us and show us, and we have to understand that the Holy Spirit is never going to guide us to do something that is contrary to what's written in the word.
19:21
Yeah, absolutely. God is never gonna contradict himself. Mm-hmm. And going back to that conversation that I was mentioning with the youth pastor, he said one thing that I'm never gonna forget, and he said this.
19:31
He said, "I'm gonna take care of my wife." He goes, "And the reason why I'm gonna take care of my wife," he says, "is because the day that I need her, she's gonna be there by my side.
19:41
The other person, they're not gonna be there. I'm not gonna be able to rely on them. I'm not gonna be able to call on them. I'm not gonna be able to count on them."
19:51
He said, "And that doesn't mean that they don't love me. That doesn't mean that I don't love them.
19:55
If they're part of my congregation, if they're part of my flock, right, then I'm going to tend to them when the time allows, but my immediate attention and priority needs to be my wife. It needs to be my children."
20:07
It's all part of the honor your wife thing, too, you know? Absolutely. Says it clear as day. Absolutely. So that, that brings in...
20:14
I'm glad you said all that 'cause the other thing that I've wrote down is, you know, the voice of God is what drives your calling, and what's the voice of God? It's, it's the word of God, right?
20:24
And you're not gonna hear his voice unless you get deeper into it, and I'm not saying you have to sit there and, and read two hours of scripture and, and all that. And that's the reason why we did this, right? It's...
20:37
I can read two hours of scripture, but do I really understand what the heck I just read, you know? And, you know, okay, well, I read two scr- two ver- two chapters of scripture. Now what?
20:45
You know, how, how do I use that, right? And so it's easy to tell someone... So speaking of cliches, right, you hear this all the time. "You need to find your calling." Well, that's nice.
20:57
I need to find a million dollars, too, but you need to tell me how. I mean, that's like saying, "Hey, go to my house, but I'm not gonna give you any directions." And that's coming from a person.
21:07
Now, if it's coming from God, that's a whole different concept, right? If God's asking me to move in a direction that I don't know about and that I'm not sure about, then I move because it's coming from him.
21:19
I, I go back to my, me changing my career.
21:22
He moved me in a completely different direction that I never saw myself in, but I trusted because I had been asking God, and I think this is one of the biggest problems that we have, too, when it comes to calling.
21:32
We ask him to show us. We ask him to, to enlighten us, right, and to, you know, tell me what, what's my calling. What's my purpose? What's my... And then when he shows us, we don't listen, right?
21:45
And, and then so I, I had to really take a leap of faith when I went back to school. Like, can I told you, like, five years ago...
21:54
If you would've asked me five years ago that I was gonna get a master's degree, I would've told you you were out of your mind. I was like, "I ain't going through all that."
22:01
But it was God that knew that I needed to go back, and it's, it's funny because I got a warning. And for those of you that don't know, I'm, I'm a, I'm a veteran in the military, and I got a warning.
22:12
You know, I had completed my bachelor's and, and I got a warning that, hey, you still have a year of, of... two years of, of VA benefits. And sorry, guys, I had a little- A brain fart... brain fart to s- [laughs]...
22:24
for lack of a better word. [laughs] And I said, "Well, the heck with that. I busted my tail for too many years. I ain't giving Uncle Sam back his money."
22:32
And so jokingly I went on and started looking for master's programs. And lo and behold, I don't know why, but the program that I graduated from was the one that I was getting pulled to, right? And it wasn't grandiose.
22:44
You know, God didn't shine a light on it, but sometimes he speaks internally to us, and he kinda keeps pulling at us into a direction, right? And I kept coming to it, and I kept coming to it, and I kept coming to it.
22:56
Then I finally said, "You know what? The heck with it. I'm gonna go ahead and apply." And I applied.
23:00
And now I'm doing something complete- I'm still in the same, same realm, like, on the bigger s- landscape of things, but I'm doing it completely different than I was, than I was doing before.
23:11
I didn't know that in, at the time. You know, I had to trust. I wa- kept on asking God, "God, show me the way. Open the doors that are meant for me, and close the ones that are not."
23:21
Blessings are not always gonna be easy, and callings are never gonna be easy because if he's calling you, he's gotta prepare you, and I think that when he tries to prepare you is when people get scared, and they fail to see the signs that he gives.
23:41
The thing is, the thing is the preparation part is something that not everybody wants to go through. Not everybody is willing to endure it.
23:48
And look, the thing is we focus so much on the preparation that we forget, right, what awaits us on the other side. And look, I'm not saying with this- Mm-hmm... and I need to be very careful with this- Mm-hmm...
24:00
because when I say that, I make it seem like, man, what's waiting me on the other side is gonna be something, to steal your word, grandiose. Mm-hmm. Right? It's gonna be...
24:13
And it can be, but not in the terms that we are thinking.Because it's not necessarily going to be grandiose in human eyes, it's not necessarily gonna be grandiose to the world's perspective, but it could be grandiose for the sake of the kingdom of God.
24:30
Now, with that being said, why do I say that not everybody is willing to go through the process?
24:38
Because in order to go through the process, or I should say not in order to go through the process, but going through the process is a time where God breaks you. The Lord needs to break you down first to- It's-...
24:49
build you up... it, it's preparing you. It's preparing you for what He has called you to do. It's preparing you, right? Because, look, if He, if He were to just...
24:59
A- as human beings, we have a tendency of just messing things up as it is. Mm-hmm. Right? But if He just gives you things without preparing you for them, then we're gonna be... We're gonna mess it up even more.
25:10
We're gonna mess it up even worse, right? And, and, and I a- and I brought up the whole thing about you being a veteran because after you enlist- Mm-hmm...
25:17
right, what, what, what's the first thing that the military do- ma- makes you go through? Oh, basic training. Basic training.
25:23
They have, they have to break you down to build you back up the way you need to be built up so that you can handle the tasks that are associated with being a soldier. And that's exactly what God does.
25:36
And look, there's hundreds or maybe even thousands of different military career paths that you can actually take. Mm-hmm. Right? People who are extremely smart might end up in military intelligence.
25:47
People who are not that smart might end up as a grunt, right? But you have your jet fighter pilots, you know, you have your helicopter pilots, and you have 1,000 things in between, right?
25:59
But it doesn't matter what career path you take within the military. Mm-hmm. It all starts with basic training. Well, I, I, I think a- and I believe that God operates in a very similar fashion. Mm-hmm. Right?
26:12
Doesn't know... The, the, the... Y- you may not know what plans He has for you, what calling He has for you, what path He's gonna guide you down. And you never will. He, he, he knows. He knows. Yeah.
26:23
But He has to prepare you for that. Yeah. I mean, it's, it, it's, it's nature, right? So, you know, the first calling that we're talking about is obviously about character.
26:33
He, He needs to build your character in order for you to do a specific thing, right? You don't learn to be a soldier just to be a soldier, right?
26:40
They have to teach you the discipline, and they have to teach you the, the, the processes and the procedures and the... You know, you don't just wake up one morning and, "Oh, there you go."
26:51
You know, you know, "I'm a soldier now." You know, it's, it's... You... They, they have to show you.
26:56
And, and you know, it, it's funny that you say that because a lot of people do believe that when it comes to your ministry, your, your calling, your, your, your, your purpose in life that God has bestowed upon you, a- all these things, that it is gonna happen that way.
27:12
Yeah. Because for a long time, I thought that. Mm-hmm. And, and now that I... Like, I think about that and I'm like, how dumb was I? Like, how stupid was I to think that it was just gonna magically happen.
27:26
One day I was gonna wake up in the morning and things were gonna be this way. No, no, no, no, no. You gotta work towards that. There needs to be a, a season of preparing where God is going to mold you. Mm-hmm. Right?
27:39
Shape your character, right? But these are things that are going to grow into whatever it is that God has for you. Yeah. I mean, we've said it already, right?
27:50
It's, it's about doing the things God calls us first to do, certain character traits, and become a certain type of person.
28:00
And I think once He calls us and we accept God into our hearts, and we allow Him to work within us, right? Because in... You know, we're talking about the military.
28:11
In the military, you can resist, you know, from them breaking you down, but then what happens?
28:17
The consequences of, of that are you get kicked out, dishonorable discharge, you know, and then they ha- It's a ripple effect, right? You're putting yourself into a storm. You don't need to.
28:31
Look, you can resist it, but you're gonna be worse off. Mm-hmm. And when it comes to the things of God, it's the same thing. You can resist God. Mm-hmm. You can resist God. You can resist the Holy Spirit.
28:43
And, and see, here's the thing. God has given us free will, and I've a- a- and I've often said this. That is such a huge blessing from God. Mm-hmm. And it is a gift from God, and it is so special to God.
28:56
Your free will is so special to God that He will never violate your free will, even though He know, right, that, that many times in our free will we're going to choose something that is going to harm us in the long run.
29:09
Yeah. I mean, you know, it's what we said last week. You know, you... Some people learn the easy way, some people learn the hard way, and some people never learn. And that's the worst part of it all.
29:19
That, that's the sad part. That's the sad part, that some people never learn. And you know what the, the crazy part is? Even they learn at one point.
29:27
'Cause I, I can't tell you how many times I've seen people that are deny, deny, don't learn, don't learn, don't learn. But at the 11th hour, they, they see it. They know. But they- Better late than never, right?
29:39
Yeah, but do you wanna wait till the 11th hour? I mean, we create our own storms sometimes. I think- Mm-hmm... that's what I said earlier. You... Sometimes you call yourself to do things that you weren't called to do.
29:50
And look, the truth of the matter is that if we just were a little bit more humble- Mm-hmm... and a little bit more teachable, we could avoid ourselves so many problems.
30:00
I've, I, I've told people this in the past, and I honestly believe it with all my heart. Mm-hmm. Life is difficult. Yes, life is difficult. Life is gonna have problems and hardships, yes.
30:10
But we bring a lot of those hardships upon ourselves. If we were more humble- Mm-hmm... and more willing to just do God's will the first time around, right?
30:22
Mm-hmm.The preparation process sometimes wouldn't be so painful. Yeah. I n- I, I... You know, as you were saying that, I was, I'm thinking about, you know, you said if we were more teachable.
30:33
Takes me to, to sports You know, how many times have you seen coaches that say, "I don't want the, the people that I, that aren't coachable"? Right? They'll let you on their team.
30:43
They're not gonna spend, they're not gonna, you know, take all their time to try to teach you when you're not willing to be coached, right? If you think you know it all, then there's nothing I can teach you, right?
30:55
'Cause you already know it, according to you. But God's up there going, [laughs] "Yeah, you think that. But bro, I'm gonna see you do this later, and that's okay.
31:04
I'll just stand here on, on my rocking chair and just watch you do it," right? You know, if... And here's the other thing. I can't learn to do something if I don't go to practice. And what's practice? Learning. Learning.
31:17
Going... And you can't learn if you don't open the book. Learning and perfecting. You know- Learning and perfecting... I hate to, I hate, I hate to use that word, though, the per- Well-...
31:24
and perfecting, because- Look, here, here, here's the thing... I think it puts too much pressure. Well, but perfecting, not in the sense that you will become perfect at it- Uh-huh...
31:33
but perfecting in the sense that you are getting better at it. So improving, not perfecting. Improving. Improving. Yeah. You always have to move a step forward. That's it. Yeah.
31:41
In fact, I told my son, I said, "You gotta keep moving forward." You know, after my brother passed away, I could have become a hermit crab, and a lot of people do. And that's... Look, I, I'm not saying that's wrong.
31:51
I mean, everybody grieves the way they, they grieve and whatever the case may be. I leaned more on, on God. I, I got more into the word.
31:59
And, you know, we can go into, you know, more life lessons that I've learned from him. And it's funny, 'cause I'm not... That whole experience now I'm seeing it in a different light.
32:08
And, you know, we can get into that, I don't, when we get into the other stuff about callings, but you don't know what experiences God's gonna use to teach you, to humble you, to, to...
32:21
'Cause that's, like, all He wants you to do. It's all He wants to teach you. Peace, love, humility, appreciation. Taboo words to some people. It's, it's... Why? Because takes effort.
32:33
And I can't hear God's voice [laughs] if I don't look for Him. I mean, He can't teach me character if I don't go... If I... Let's go back to the sports analogy.
32:41
If I don't go to the coach to allow him to teach me how to bat or catch a ball, [laughs] I'm not gonna be very good at it, right? And just like in sports, again, course I have to use all the male analogies, right?
32:55
[laughs] The sports and the cars and... But is coach gonna put me in for something that's very important, right? It's, "Hey, Freddy, I need you to go to the third base, even though I know you can't catch anything."
33:09
And the, and the game's on the line, by the way. Just, just no pressure. [laughs] Heck no. He's gonna put me on the side of the bench. He's like, "Yeah, you sit there and watch." He's not rejecting me.
33:18
He's not kicking me off the team. But he's not gonna use me. So there's the difference, right? We're talking about callings. He calls us to be obedient.
33:27
He calls us to be of a certain character, because without that character, He can't use you, right? Yeah, absolutely. And He... A- and we need to keep in mind that He's the one who's going to mold that character. Mm-hmm.
33:41
And on His time. Right. He's gonna mold that character, and He's gonna use different methods, people, life experiences, so on and so forth to, to mold that character. And, and look, let me tell you something.
33:53
The more humble we are, the more coachable we are, going back to that word, the more teachable we are- Mm-hmm... then the easier the molding process becomes. Yeah. And I can tell you that from, from real-life experience.
34:07
You know, when I used to... Before the job that I have now, I used to be a trainer. And I was a trainer for a lot of years, right? And what is training?
34:14
You're, you're teaching people how to do a certain task so that they can be used in a bigger s- context of something, right? So what would I do when I had someone that wasn't engaged? What do you think I would do?
34:30
I don't know. I learned that the more that I forced the person, the less they would do, the less they would learn. They would, they would disengage even more. So what did I do? "If you wanna learn the lesson, learn it.
34:43
But then don't blame me later when you're, when you're struggling. Because I tried to give you the tools for you to be able to do and be used in a positive way, in a productive way, and an impactful way.
34:57
But you weren't willing to do the work to build the base in order for you to do that. I can't use you if you don't learn the simple things first." And that's the character things. And that's what we're talking about.
35:12
Building blocks. The building blocks. It's the first thing. And guess what? All you need to do is, ta-da, open the book. Have a relationship with Him. It's not that hard. Talk to Him.
35:22
I don't have to read two hours of scripture. You know, sometimes I sit on my desk and I'm like, "Lord, I need you right now," 'cause if not, you know, it's... I'm not the same person I was five years ago.
35:32
But why is that? Because five years ago, my friends said, "Hey, join us for church." And I'll be honest with you, man, at that time, I was like, "Uh, really?" You know me.
35:43
And that's hard for me to say, but it's the reality. I mean, I had, I had gotten away from God. Not completely. You know what I mean? I still believed. I was still a believer and all that.
35:53
But was I, quote-unquote, "practicing"? Heck no. Mm-mm. I wanted to be, I wanted to be in the game, but then I wasn't willing to go to practice. You weren't engaged. I wasn't engaged. I was like, "Okay," right?
36:04
And so when I didn't play, what did I do? I got mad, right? I blamed the coach. Why am I blaming the coach? Blame yourself. You're the one that didn't go to practice. You know what I mean? So...
36:13
And we always wanna blame the o- the person, like the coach. Why? He's not the one practicing. If you don't show up, he can't teach you. He can't pr- you can't practice. You don't practice, you don't play, right?
36:24
It's been the, the golden model. It's not now nowadays. Oh my God, now it's like, "Can you help to play my son?" No, he sucks. "Ma'am, have you seen him play?" I mean-Hello?
36:34
Like, if you, if you- How times have changed... if you come to practice with him, you'd see how bad he is. I'm just saying. [laughs] How, how, how times have changed. And if I offended someone, I'm sorry.
36:43
Like handing out participation trophies. I mean, hey. But you know what? That's a whole different, that's a whole different podcast idea. Hold, hold on. But, but see, here, here's the thing. Mm-hmm.
36:51
This brings up an interesting point. We say it jokingly, but what have we seen in the younger generations? They do not build the character that is necessary to face real life. Why?
37:04
Because we have built a culture that caters to them. Entitlement. Yes, exactly. I don't need to work for it, it needs to be given to me. Because as long as I show up, I'm gonna be rewarded. And you know- That's not...
37:19
A- and see, here's the thing. Not only does it not prepare them for real life- Yeah... it doesn't prepare them for a Christian life. Last week we were talking about the narrow road, the narrow path. Mm-hmm.
37:31
That kind of mentality does not prepare people for the narrow path. That's not the narrow path, that's the wide path, right? 'Cause I have so much flexibility.
37:42
But- You can't walk the narrow road and have that much flexibility. I mean, let's just be honest about that. And that's the difference between... Ooh, sorry, have you heard that burp?
37:51
I apologize, but, ooh, that's giving me heartburn. The, but the, the, the thing is that's what we were talking about last year. I mean, last year. Oh, my God, what am I thinking? Okay, there's something there.
38:01
We probably need to cut this real quick. But, no, last week, right? If you're going... There's a difference between having a relationship with God and going to church. Absolutely. The...
38:12
We have people that go to church, but it's, they go to church. Are they really having that relationship? Are, are they really learning? Right? It's like, it goes back to when I was... I told you when I was trained.
38:23
They would show up for the training, doesn't mean they were engaged in it, right? And so they think that if I show up to church, then I'm entitled to all these blessings. "God, I went to your house."
38:36
Yeah, but then you sat on the corner. We're all over here and you're over there on the corner doing your own thing. What's the point? I went to church, but, but you stayed in the foyer. Yeah.
38:44
You never even went into the sanctuary, you know? Physically, you might have. Mentally, you weren't there, right? And I don't want your body, I want your heart and your mind. That's what God tells us.
38:54
And, and that is so, so vital. We, a lot of times we don't, we forget. Let me use that word. Mm-hmm. We forget that what God truly wants and what really matters to him is the position of our heart. Yeah.
39:11
The position of our heart, because that's where it all starts. Yeah. It has to start there. It's foundation. Can't build a house without a foundation. It's just that simple. Yeah, for sure. You can't.
39:21
It, it ain't gonna, it ain't gonna be very strong and it's gonna collapse. Going from your worship to your character building to everything that we've talked about, it all starts with the condition of your heart. Mm-hmm.
39:35
Because I'm gonna be honest with you, as simple as this, if your heart is not in the right place, God is not gonna forget about you. No, absolutely not. But you want to be used by God- Mm-hmm... you want to be...
39:48
You want God to give you bigger and greater things, but your heart is not in the right place. Again, I'm not putting someone in the game who they can't contribute to, to the outcome. It's really that simple.
40:01
And I said this before, you know, my heart's like a safe. I'm only gonna put things in there, I'm only gonna allow the people into that safe who I allow. You said that we have free will, and we do.
40:11
God's not gonna force you to have a relationship with him. It has to be commitment from both sides. He's committed to you, but he's not gonna show it until you commit to him, right? Well, that, that's the thing.
40:22
He, he already has shown it. Yeah. He did. He died, right? It's the ultimate commitment. Right. Like, who's- He was dying on a cross. He, he literally, right?
40:30
Look, what, what, what, what's the greatest miracle in the Bible? It's not a, a boy slaying a giant. Mm-mm. It's not God parting the Red Sea or making the walls of Jericho crumble down. No, no, no, no.
40:43
The biggest miracle that we see in scripture is God becoming man. Mm-hmm. Being born in human flesh and dying on a cross for us. Oh, and by the way, it ain't like his 33 years of life were that q- grandiose either.
40:59
I mean, it's not like he, he didn't go through trials and tribulations. People forget that. "Oh, well, God was..." Yeah, well, you know what? He probably had a... He didn't have the most glorious life.
41:08
It ain't like he was in mansions and, and, you know, you know, having all the, all the, all the gold and, and the- He, he definitely wasn't born with a silver spoon in his mouth- Hell... like that. Like, for sure.
41:18
So, so his life wasn't all comfort. But he counted, but he counted his blessings. Well, he was the blessing, let's just say that.
41:25
But look, going back to what we were saying about commitment, he's already shown his commitment. Mm-hmm. But that's the first calling that we have, is commitment. And that's the one that nobody wants to answer.
41:37
[laughs] Well, you can't be used unless you put in, in as you go to practice, and that's just the... Right? So... And the second calling that we were, that we were probably gonna talk about is God using you, right?
41:49
So he calls us to, to him, he calls us to have a relationship with him, he calls us to be of a certain character in order for him to be able to use us in certain things, right? Absolutely. And to the...
42:04
And I, we touched on this before, but let's touch on it again and that, that'll lead us into the next episode, but everybody wants to be called to do this grandiose thing, like, that's gonna be like...
42:16
And we, we talked about it before. When God walked the earth, there was a whole lot of people walking it, right? And he had a lot of followers eventually, but he only had 11 disciples. Did I get that right this time? 12.
42:31
12. Oh, no, 11 apostles.12 disciples that, but 11 became apostles Apostles. And, and look, to, to... and, and I'm not saying this to correct you No, you can correct me all day...
42:43
I, I'm not saying this to correct you I'm here to learn too, but... but when, when you read scripture Yeah...
42:47
when we read scripture, we see that He actually had more than just 12 disciples Yeah, that's true However, He dedicated all of His time and effort to those 12. Yeah Okay? But He had- He had, He had other disciples Yeah.
43:02
Okay. Yeah That's right...
43:03
you're right And He had other followers Mm-hmm But it was those 12 that He had dedicated all of His energy and time, right, specifically for those, because those were the ones that He wanted to use for what?
43:15
The grand deal Beginning of the church Yeah. For, the For, for, for beginning of the church But they were the only ones that had that big, grand deal. Like, let's just... Their works were above w- my pay grade.
43:24
It's just [laughs] Once they became apostles Yeah, absolutely Once they became apostles But everybody wants to be... Everybody wants to have that impact.
43:32
And let's just be honest, do you want the impact because you wanna be... you wanna do something great for God, or do you want to have that impact because- Right... your own recognition?
43:42
You know, it's- Yeah, and- Everybody wants to be an all-star... a- and it comes back to what we mentioned in- through the last episode as well. We all want the final result Mm-hmm...
43:51
but no one is willing to put in the work to get there, or, or few people, I should say Yeah Few people are willing to put in the work to actually get there Look, it's go- it goes back to sports.
44:02
I'm gonna go back to the sports analogy just 'cause I like to stay... And by the way, I love analogies. That's how I teach. That's how I used to teach and it's how I'm gonna do it now.
44:09
I'm not gonna change who I am, 'cause that's how He made me. But let's just go back. Every kid that plays any sport, every kid wants to be an all-star. And if you play...
44:20
If you're in college, you wanna be an All-American. Not everybody gets there. As a matter of fact, it's a small percentage. It's a small percentage.
44:27
The higher you climb on the totem pole- Not everybody that plays little leagues actually plays- Makes it to the mi- to the... Hell, they didn't even make it to the minors. Let's just be honest. I mean, let's just- Not...
44:37
Look, not everybody that plays sports in th- in the high school level makes it to collegiate That's what I was gonna say Right? And not everybody that plays sports at the collegiate level makes it to the pros Nope.
44:47
Matter of fact, the numbers get smaller and smaller. Why? Because, [laughs] funny or not, it's commitment. What makes you better than the other guys in sports? Your commitment. Are you willing to put in the work?
45:00
Are you willing to do more than the other guy? And that's really what it comes down to. How much are you willing to do? And how much you're willing to do is how much God will use you.
45:09
And let's just face it, we're not all gonna make it to the next level. You know what? Sometimes your calling is simplistic, but you don't realize the impact that you have.
45:20
And we, we could go into the next, the next topic of God using you and, you know, the things that you do, but I think, you know, we can... That'll be for the next episode and we'll...
45:31
a- and, and all that, but I'll end it with this. Do I think that we've been called? Yes. Am I perfect? No. Am I still learning? I'll learn every day of my life, 'cause God's infinite, right? The lessons never stop.
45:44
I mean, as parents, we never stop parenting. They can be 40-something years old, you're still gonna be, "Hey, don't do that, stupid." That simple.
45:52
But you can't do something great for God if you're not willing to learn from Him, and you have to have that relationship. So you gotta get in...
46:00
You gotta get into the Word, and if you don't understand it, that's what we're here for. I'm not an expert. I'm not a pastor.
46:07
I'm just a tool that God is using, that the Holy Spirit is using to talk to you and tell you, "Hey, it's not that complicated." And I'm learning along with you guys, so there is no, no topic too small or whatever.
46:21
You know, matter of fact, you're, you're gonna see two of the most unraw people [laughs] And you know- Become raw... I, yeah. A- and you know what?
46:29
Last time you actually said, last time during the last episode, you, you said that I was the expert or whatnot, and, and honestly, I feel like you just gave me way too much credit.
46:39
[laughs] The truth of the matter is that I'm learning, too Yeah I'm learning, too Yeah, but your knowledge is way bigger than mine, bro A- and, you know, I- You have a, you have a lake, I, I still have a stream of water coming out of the faucet.
46:50
[laughs] You know what? Whatever I, I may or may not have, it is by God's grace and mercy, but I don't stop learning No I don't stop learning So I, I wrote...
47:01
And we'll probably finish with this, but you can think of what you're supposed to do, and other people might think they know what you're supposed to do.
47:11
We as people and as humans, we think God reveals, and when you're willing to listen, He'll reveal what you're really supposed to be doing, not what you think you're supposed to be doing, and not what other people think you're supposed to be doing, right?
47:26
'Cause that... Sometimes I think that's what we do. We listen to other people to con- or sometimes we look for the people to confirm the things that we want to do, not what God is telling us to do.
47:35
Well, sorry, not what God is telling us to do. So yeah, I think that's a good place to stop. I think you and I, we're in agreement. I, you know, I... We feel really good about this podcast.
47:45
We don't know how far it's gonna go, but we did say if we can affect one person, then it was all worth it Absolutely I'm hoping we can enlighten a lot of other people And I know that people are gonna be blessed and people are gonna learn from this, because I'm learning Yeah I'm learning.
48:01
In just, just in these conversations that we're having- Yeah... I, I'm learning, and God is speaking to my life Yep. He's speaking to mine, too. Like I said earlier, it's not me. This podcast- It's not us... it's not us.
48:14
We're just the tools So What did I say earlier? We're tools? Yeah In ways, in one... But we're just God's tools, and I feel that what's coming through these airways and what's coming into these mics is, is of, is of Him.
48:27
It's the Holy Spirit. It's flowing so naturally that it's hard for me to believe it's not Yeah, for sure So For sure. So we wanna thank you guys for listening once again. Please stay tuned, right?
48:39
We're gonna be putting some more episodes out, recording more episodes, and we just pray and hope that these conversations are being a blessing to you guys as well And don't be afraid to leave us comments and feedback.
48:50
I'm former military, I told you. I have thick skin. No, no, and... but, but real, on the real, it's we, we want this show to be guided by, by you.
48:59
Obviously, we wanna have real conversations, and we're enjoying having these conversations, but we wanna have the real conversations that are really affecting you and the things that you really want to apply.
49:12
And we'll let the Holy Spirit speak it, speak into it. Give us your testimonies. If this is helping you and it's done well for you, let us know. We'd love to hear that.
49:20
We're doing this for the glory of God, and we want to be of service to all of you, so let us know what direction you want us to go, and then we'll let it, we'll let it flow Absolutely All right Absolutely Well, thank you very much, everyone, and until next time, may God bless you on your narrow path God bless And we'll see you next time
Walking The Narrow Path
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